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Bila 40-49 Tahun bermula Fasa Senyap Hidup

 Fasa Senyap
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Heart break 2025

Today I saw this lady at Pasar malam tengah bayar dia punya ayam goreng, she accidentally open her M2U to check her balance as the guy said that he return her balance. What shocked me that her balance account was six digits. At this point I was like 😫 fugg dowh.. kau buat ape sia sampai banyak gile papeng duit dalam kau?  

To make RM 1,000,000 you need to your make first RM100,000. Apa yang aku tengah buat ni? I'm far from making side hustle for extra RM1,000 a month and way behind to generate first grand to next ten grand RM10,000. 

I missed so many opportunity and not enjoying life like many others because every move is a calculated step based on current balance. I used to believe in "whatever man's mind can conceive and believe the body will achieve" sugg it like a mantra for many many years. But it seems to be dark and murky than expected. Sedangkan orang lain senang je dapat but aku kena tunggu lama? Bila tunggu lama banyak la benda dah terlepas sampai fed up nak hadap. As time goes by just boleh tengok jela orang lain yang "dapat" segala. Orang yang ikut peraturan memang susah nak berjaya kalau ikut yang salah nanti seksa diri pulak? Actually it's easy to just give up but why the same dream and desire always came in to my mind? Yet the weird part was it stick like effing hard until now.

Why dowh? Why orang yang dapat macam² kelebihan yang aku tengok lifestyle cam haram jadah. Naik bosan cakap dan fikir pasal ni, sebab apa aku buat sepanjang masa ni tak mendatangkan hasil as apa pun untuk gandakan $$ pendapatan especially simpanan dan pelaburan. 


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